Military Jokes And Humor

Military Jokes And HumorMilitary Jokes And HumorMinot AFB opened in February 1957 and supports Continous Bomber Presence (CBP) as well as Intercontinental Ballistic Missles. The strategic importance of this base, its mission, billions of dollars of strategic bombers, nuclear weapons and missiles cannot be underestimated, but the cold weather and remoteness is often the butt of many military jokes. This base is in the middle of NORTH DAKOTA To say the Air Force Airmen create jokes about their living conditions in such a place is an understatement. Here is a classic joke about life in Minot AFB during the winter. The most used phrase about the Minot Air Force Base as well as the town itself is a simple question and answerQuestion Why Not Minot?Answer Freezins the Reason.Many who have grown accustomed to the base and its permanent sitzordnung within the polar vortex will quickly answer, No other base has two-thirds of the nuclear triad (Bombers, ICBMs) with Ballistic Missile Submarines being the third of the Strategic Deterent Mission. Here is a classic long story diary form joke about life at Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota during the winter months. An Airmans Jurnal December 8 - 600 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Putting in for an assignment at Minot was the best idea Ive ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life. December 12 - The su n has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, well definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful Bob says well have so much snow by the end of winter, that Ill never want to see snow again. I dont think thats possible. Bob is such a nice man, Im glad hes our neighbor. December 14 - Snow lovely snow 8 last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didnt realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but Ill certainly get back in shape this way. December 15 - 20 inches of snow in theforecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wifes car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think thats silly. We arent in Alask a, after all. December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17 - leise way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I shouldve bought a wood stove, but wont admit it to her. God I hate it when shes right. I cant believe Im freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 - Electricitys back on, but had another 14 of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said theyre too busy playing hockey. I think theyre lying. Called the BX to see about buying a snow blower and theyre out. Might have another shipment in March. I think theyre lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the base will issue me a ticket, and if you get three, you have to move off-base. I think hes lying. December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and its so cold it probably wont melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed, pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he says hes too busy. I think the jerk is lying. December 23 - Only 2 of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts Why didnt she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think shes lying. December 24 - 6. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow Ill drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken s hovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where Ive just been Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow. December 25 - Merry -bleeping- Christmas 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think shes a fricking idiot. If I have to watch Its A Wondeful Life one more time, Im going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever put Minot on the dream sheet? It was all HER idea. Shes really getting on my nerves. December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, CE finally came after 14 hours of waiting f or for them. Said it was a busy day. I know the SOBs are lying. December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. Thats the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. The commander is now giving me an Article 15, for not only the beating I gave the driver, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9 of snow predicted. December 31 - I set fire to whats left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to thebed? So, I ask you again - Why Not Minot?Military Jokes and Humor